ZADR: Tying the Grudge Knot c2

Zim got bored with staring out the window and began to inspect his hand, finally, after a long while of silence he asked in a worn out kind of voice, his energy from their previous argument gone, "Can I keep my gloves on?"

"Why? Do you need them or something?" Dib asked, curiously. He was really glad for the absence of silence though. "If you want, you can keep 'm. I don’t care."

"No, I don't need them, well, not really. But skin on skin contact makes me feel icky, sicky feelings." Zim said, rubbing his gloved hands together nervously.

"And you'd rather not touch me physically. That's okay. I wasn’t planning on physically touching you, either." Dib reassured, continuing to drive on.

He wouldn’t tell Zim this, but if his father made him kiss Zim, he would just to prove himself. Of course, Zim didn’t need to know this. Not now anyway.

"Is holding hands not a sign of human affection?" Zim asked, tilting his head, apparently under the impression that his FABULOUS acting skills would be needed for this little charade.

Dib blushed. "Yeah, it is… but... I was hoping we could go by unnoticed not showing physical affection... Just sweet lies to one another to make it sound like it, and fake sweet smiles."

"Works for me." Zim said, crossing his arms once more. He looked at himself in the rear view mirror before asking, "What are we going to do bout my hair?" He ran a hand through his wig hair which was still in that same, god-awful hair do as when he first came here.

"Get you a new wig. Shouldn’t be that hard to find one you're comfortable with." He said, staring at the road. A smile graced his face. "You're really getting into this, aren’t you?"

"Do not read so much into this Dib-beast, I am merely curious. I think I have the right to know what's going to be done to my appearance." Zim said, poking Dib's shoulder, not wanting to punch him because he was driving.

Dib smiled warmer now, pulling up to the parking lot of a huge building. "How is your body, anyway?" Dib asked sudden interest in Zim's physicality.

"What? How do you mean?" Zim asked, not sure if Dib was talking about his wounds or his organs, knowing the Dib like he did though, he automatically assumed organs.

"The medicine- how is it working? Are you alright?" Dib asked, walking over to him and examining Zim's torso as though he had x-ray vision and could feel the pain with his eyes.

"Zim is fine." Zim declared, putting his hands on his hips. "Now can we get this over with? I hate this place."

"Sure." Dib turned around facing the mall and taking Zim by the hand, completely forgetting about their in-car-conversation.

Zim tensed a little but didn't say anything, after all, he didn't want to get shocked for provoking Dib and they weren't touching skin to skin so it didn't really matter.

The mall was as full as ever. Dib cursed under his breath. "Well, Zim, you have any store you wanna go to. Go to one. I'll follow." Dib said, just then realizing he was holding Zim's hand and quickly let go of it and frowning as if it never happened.

Zim rubbed his hand nervously and looked around, saying, "I don't... really know about Earth cloths. You know, what's casual, what's not."

Dib sighed. "You've been on earth for HOW long now? Surely you remember what the kids at school would wear. Stuff like that- only of what you like."

Zim looked around, trying to think of what he's seen human females wear that he liked. Thinking of nothing he sighed and put a hand over his eyes and blindly pointed at a store, deciding to just pick a random store and look at what they had.

"A prep store." Dib snickered. "Okay. I'm marrying a prep!" He had to put his hand over his mouth to keep him from breaking out in laughter.

"Then you pick!" Zim almost yelled, crossing his arms and pouting.

Dib frowned. "How about an emo store? As long as you don’t go anymore whiny on me… that sounds alright."

"Lead the way, Dib-stink." Zim said, ignoring Dib's 'whiney' comment.

"Alright then." He glanced back at Zim as he started walking towards an escalator to go upstairs. The whole idea around emo's seemed to revolve cross-dressing, so he was sure he could find some nice chick clothes for Zim there that would magnify his girlish figure.

Zim followed Dib closely, eyeing various innocent looking statues. But he knew they were not so innocent, oh no.

Dib stepped into the emo-store, followed by Zim.

"Helloooo, may I be of assistants?" A very friendly looking guy and came over beaming brightly at the two, then examined Dib harder. "Wait- don’t I know you from some where?"

TV probably. "Nope. Never seen you before in my life."

"Oh, okay."

"Yeah, so uh... Make this--" Dib gestured to Zim. "--into a hot chick please."

Zim blinked dumbfounded before turning a glare towards Dib, muttering a, "Jerk."

Dib grinned back at Zim tautly as the man walked over to the Irken.

He looked Zim over from top to bottom, circling him like large wild cats do their prey. He checked everything from how big the dip of the small of his back was to how puffed out his chest- more and more.

"Alright. Can do. And you- my queen- shall be SEXY." He said, quickly turning to a wall with accessories, grabbing a crap load of bracelets, necklaces, earrings (although Zim clearly had no ears), mascara, lip gloss, rings and more, filling a bag with all the goodies. He then grabbed some arm warmers, pantyhose, stockings, skirts galore, three different pairs of boots, tight girl-jeans, net shirts, skimpy shirts, spaghetti straps, tank tops, long sleeves, most all of these shirts with horizontal stripes, and some fashionable BUTTONS proclaiming gayness. He stuffed all of that in the bag and handed it to the two. "Can you afford all of this?"

"Why yes. Yes I can. What about you, Honey, do you like these things?" Dib asked back at his 'fiancé'.

Zim poked through the bag, not actually wanting to say he liked the clothes but not wanting to offend anyone or spend anymore time here than necessary. "I like stripes," He commented, hoping that the one he used would be enough to tell Dib what he wanted.

Dib smiled, taking the bag from Zim.

He took out many of the items of clothing without stripes, still leaving some of the solid colored ones in there. "There. We'll take these." He walked up to the counter, letting the man slip behind and ring all of them up.

Ching!!

"That'll be $752.81."

Dib mumbled, writing out a check.

If he wasn’t so rich, he would have run from this store.

"Are we done now?" Zim asked, crossing his arms and trying to look like he wasn't happy about the new cloths, it's just, they were so FABULOUS!

"The wig." Dib said, taking the bag and walking beside Zim. "There should be a beauty shop nearby, and they usually have some wigs." He began walking out.

"Alright," Zim said, looking down at the ground as they walked.

Dib walked onward until he finally slowed down to be right next to Zim. "Anything the matter?"

"No, I'm just feeling a little unmotivated to be excited about being married to you is all." Zim said with a sigh before asking, "Why do you care?"

"Because like it or not, you're my fiancé, and just because I'm using you -- ... Come to think about it, I don’t know." Dib looked back up from Zim, thinking to himself for what reason would he care.

Zim stopped in his tracks, something in his mind clicking from all those human movies he'd seen with Gir.

Dib stopped up ahead of him some, turning to look at Zim in confusion. "What?"

Zim smirked. Well, if he was going to be stuck with Dib for who knows how long he was at least going to milk this relationship dry.

"You said fiancé'. That means we're engaged." Zim said before putting his right hand on his hip and holding out the left one as if showing Dib his nails. "Where's my ring?"

"You got to be fucking kidding me." Dib gave him a pissed look going "don’t cross my borders', and sighed head in hand.

Zim tilted his chin up and shifted his feet so one hip was out in a very girly fashion as he wiggled the fingers of his left hand and asked, "And when your father asks where your bride-to-be's ring is you're going to saaaaaaay...?"

Dib found himself blushing slightly at the adorableness Zim just flashed with his girly hips. "FINE!!" He hissed out. "AFTER we get your wig- we'll go get an f'ing ring already!!" He narrowed his eyes at the adorable Zim before turning sharply around to go into the beauty shop.

Zim's smirked turned almost happy and he followed Dib into the beauty shop which smelled sweet, like candy which he guessed was coming from the goop someone was sticking on someone else's hair.

"There. The wig rack." ((Try saying that ten times fast!)) Dib pointed to the wall with de-headed hair on foamy manikins. "Knock yourself out." Dib was obviously in a bad mood thinking about the ring but tried his best to sound happy.

Zim looked the rack up and down for ten minutes before deciding on a black, short one with longer bangs. The back had a feathered look to it and the bangs were slightly longer on one side than the other. "That one." He said, pointing to it.

"Are you totally incapable of grabbing it yourself?" Dib sighed, irritated at Zim, but calmly walked over, grabbing the ball of fake black hair, and taking it to the counter where the lady just stared at the two and gave a long "oooohhhhhhh" as though she had figured something out.

She rung it up.

30 dollars, and the two were on their way again.

Zim snickered, loving the feeling of having one up over Dib. "I thought men were supposed to be GENTLEMEN to their ladies."

Dib sighed, now walking towards a diamond shop.

"I don’t need to be, not yet anyway." His eyes narrowed at all of the people. "You're enjoying this, aren’t you?"

"Why shouldn't I?" Zim asked, unable to keep the smile off his face. "I may have to pretend to love you Dib, but I never agreed to make it easy for you."

"Never say 'I love you Dib' ever again unless it's around my father or somebody equally important, go it?" Dib hissed back, finding that phrase sent disgusting chills up his spine when he heard it. They stepped into the sparkling diamonds store. "Have fun."

"Aw, but Dibbers..." Zim whined before taking a look around the shop and, turning back to Dib with his hands on his hips said, "You're supposed to pick it out for me."

Dib twitched. Dibbers?

He stared at Zim's girlish posture for a while, then grimaced. "FINE. Just… put on the wig, please?" He whined painfully going up to the counters and looking down in them to find a rock nice enough for his Dad to approve.

Zim snickered at the thought of NOT putting the wig on but decided, just this once, he would show Dib some mercy and switched hair quickly while no one was looking.

After much searching he finally found a ring worthy enough to show off to his dad. "That one. Do you like it, 'Hunny'?" Dib called him over, pointing to a $7000 engagement ring.

Zim walked over, gazing at the ring before smirking (he was TRYING to smile) and saying, "It's lovely!"

Dib dismissed Zim's girly attitude. "I'll take that one." Dib motioned for the jeweler to come over, a bit surprised Zim didn’t give him such a hard time with picking them. He paid the man and took the ring inside of its tiny box, and coughed nervously, looking around with a tint of red on his cheek. He debated on kneeling to give the ring to Zim, but decided choosing the much less traditional way and just handed the box to Zim.

Zim was about to protest and make Dib kneel but, seeing Dib blush, made him decide to wait. He could always make Dib do it in front of his father later.

"So when do I get to 'meet' your parents?" Zim asked, getting much too used to having his hip popped like that.

Dib took the box back and put it in his pocket when he noticed Zim wouldn’t take it yet.

"You meet Dad tomorrow at a fancy restaurant. M'mm, sounds like fun, huh?" Dib rolled his eye, slinging his hands behind his head and staring upwards. "That alright with you?"

"Sounds perfect." Zim said with a smile, finding that, despite his detestation of having to dress up and act like a girl, it was worth it to creep Dib out.

"Well then.. Let’s go 'home'." Dib narrowed his eyes, leaving said 'girl' in the shop as he walked out.

Zim followed behind closely for two reasons, one, and it was funny to see Dib's reaction, and two, those statues kept following him with their eyes, like they remembered him from the time he broke in.

Dib left the building and started for his car, muttering something about 'stupid Zim' and 'taking advantage of the situation' and 'acting so girly'. He crawled into the driver's seat, waiting for Zim.

"You asked for this, DIB, when you decided to force Zim to be your love pig." Zim said once he was in his seat.

Dib started the car and aimed it for home. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Geez. And you’re not my 'love pig'. I have no interest you in that way. It just sort of had to be this way is all."

"Why DID you chose Zim?" Zim asked curiously, turning to Dib. "You could have any female you wanted and you choose me, why?"

Dib gripped the wheel tighter.

"That's just it. I CAN have any woman I want. But… none of them actually care for me. They're all shallow, aiming for my fame and money." He glared at a license plate ahead which read PWN J00. "They drive me insane. I want a real relationship, not just a crappy-ass 'I love you, so can you marry me so I can have all of your possessions?' thing. With you- I can use you to keep you out of trouble, yet play you as my 'wife' for a while to appease Dad. You're fast and convenient. While we play out a fake relationship, that'll give me more time to fall in love with somebody who can actually love me back for who I am. Then I'll drop you like a rock, give you your life back, and marry her. I just need to get the marriage thing out of the way because of Dad." He explained, seething some.

"Oh," was all Zim could say. He felt a little hurt that Dib just wanted to use him. There was nothing about Zim that made him particularly appealing. He was just convenient and a lot of trouble.

"--Besides… I can actually have an intellectual conversation to you. That's something all of the rest are missing. You make me mad, but you don’t drive me mad." He seemed to relax in his seat some after saying that.

Zim perked up a little asking, "You think I'm intelligent?"

"Well, yeah. Don’t you?" Dib kept his focus on the road, not even glancing at Zim to see his reactions.

"Yeah..." Zim said in a 'duh' sort of way.

Dib smirked. "Then why question me, if you already knew?"

"Because, Dib-beast, you are the only one to have caught on to Zim's BRILLIANCE." Zim said, motioning with a hand just how brilliant he was.

Dib pulled up his driveway. "I've set up a room for you so you don’t have to sleep with -me-." He said 'me' as if he was disgusted by the very thought of it being him of all people. He pulled out of the car.

"Good," Zim said, nodding in approval.

Dib mumbled, stepping into the house. "I hope you liked your ring..."

"I do like it actually. Now when are you going to get on one knee and propose to Zim properly? Here in the privacy of you own home? Or in front of your father and about fifty other people you don't even know?" Zim asked, smirking once more.

"Do I -have- to propose?" Dib asked, wondering since when has Zim been in charge of this plan. "I was kind of hoping it would be a silent agreement."

Zim rolled his eyes and gave a fake sigh of disappointment, saying with his hand held out, "Fine, just give me the ring."

That disappointed sigh rang through his head while they stood in the living room. "W-what? You really wanted me to..?"

"Of course, is that not how things are done? Besides, this way we won't have to make up a story as to how you engaged to me."

Dib blushed like mad, slowly reaching for the box with the ring in it in his pocket.

"You're serious?" He slowly got down on one knee, feeling very similar to a slave or a pet right now from this angle looking up at Zim in a girl wig. "This is so crazy..."

"Really?" Zim asked, smirking down at Dib. "From this point-of-view it’s rather amusing."

Dib glared up at Zim, and had to quickly look away, face red as a rose.

He held out the box and opened it slowly. "Zim… Will you… marry me?" He was going to DIE, he just KNEW.

Zim pretended to ponder this for a moment before smirking more, once more attempting a sincere looking smile and said in a cutesy voice, "Of course I will, Dib-love!"